Running and I are back together

ME:  Lace up your running shoes. Walk - jog. Follow the path.  RUNNING will find you.  

I thought it was over.  You know this, whole I-love-running phase of my life?

There was a point I thought about ditching running, because I am no longer the morning person I used to be.  My pace is no longer within 10% of my age group.  It felt like faded glory of some sort.  I registered for runs or signed up for free, but I would not make it to the start line because all I wanted was to catch up on sleep. 

However, each time I turned my back from "running", I would always come running back to it.  I gave up ignoring "running".  I just had to admit to myself that I cannot run away from it, even if I could think about 101 excuses to ditch it.  

I used to build mileage for full marathons, but it has been two years since I ran a full.  After a full marathon back in 2016, I lost all clear motivations to do some maintenance run. I lost that healthy disposition towards "running".   

And then it hit me...

Wait, I forgot about wellness while I was occupied by the very thought of transitioning from corporate to a new life path.  I was too busy, and yes, stressed, that I forgot how running cleared my head even during the most toxic work assignments in the past.  I forgot that feeling for a while, only to rediscover it after contemplating on some health-related stuff.    

ME:  If you can't run in the morning, run at night.
Now, I run even when it's late and I'm the last person to leave the gym.

I must go back to the one I love - RUNNING...and RUNNING is the very thing I have in mind whenever I sing "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" in my head.  Running is that kind of person who can't be moved - just waiting in a familiar place, hoping to be found again by that his/her special someone.  I must have missed running so much, that I'm beginning to romanticize my analogy. 

I've been running regularly on the treadmill in the last three months.  I have not hit the road yet, but the 3x-a-week treadmill deal is already progress, and enough validation that  running and I are back together.  😊

Just like in the not-so-distant past, I run on the treadmill for as long as I can or want...then I eat. Some things never change. 

Back at 5

First run after months of no running

Music is about expression.  It matters to me most when I cannot find the exact words to express how I feel about something, in this case, running.  So whenever I finally made time to at least jog...these lyrics have their way to play some melody in my head.

It's undeniable
That we should be together
It's unbelievable
How I used to say
That I'd fall never
The basis is need to know
If you don't know
Just how I feel
Then let me show you now
That I'm for real
If all things in time
Time will reveal

(Back at One by Brian McKnight)

Finding time for a quality run has been a struggle for me since I stopped running regularly 4 years ago. Somehow, in the last 4 years, I was able to get through a couple of half and two full marathon events with (borderline) inadequate training, but with sheer and crazy guts to tour two cities on foot.  There are days I emerge triumphant over my busy schedule and inner demons, finally getting out of bed earlier than usual and lacing up my running shoes for a quick jog.  I long for those days when running for 2 hours or more was the norm...and so I sing...

Late last night
I was goin' through some old things
When I saw a picture of you, my best friend
It reminded me of days when you were mine
You had a way that always left me here with a smile
I want those sweet days back again
'Cause baby

(Cool With You by Jennifer Love Hewitt)

Whenever I jog, I am always tempted to go faster even though I know the risk of doing speed work right away with no endurance base.  As the treadmill hits the 10kph mark, I mentally brace myself for a self-imposed challenge...

Forfeit the game
Before somebody else
Takes you outta the frame
And puts your name to shame
Cover up your face
You can't run the race
The pace is too fast
You just won't last

(Points of Authority by Linkin Park)

I refuse to give up, even after months of zero training. I always manage to come around and go back to running...because I love running.  I know if I start training seriously anytime soon, I will be full marathon-ready in 8 months or so.  For now, I'm back at 5km. Chill.  

Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah
I won't give up, nah-nah-nah
Let me love you
Let me love you
Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah
I won't give up, nah-nah-nah
Let me love you
Let me love you
Oh baby, baby

(Let Me Love You by DJ Snake)