Our Canonical Interview: Nagtatanong din ang Simbahan

My previous posts are published in Tagalog/English (Taglish).  This is how I intend to publish my articles on Pinoy Catholic Wedding.  As I try to learn about traditions by heart, wedding traditions in particular, the more I understand why certain things are institutionalized - the human/social/familial/spiritual values, which the early generations tried to pass on to us.  I shared my piece on courtship and engagement (Pamamanhikan) in my previous articles.  I dedicate those articles to my family - their unconditional love has prepared me for my lifelong Christian vocation - it's called married life.

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Hindi pa din lipas at ayaw namin lumipas ni BFD ang aming mga eksena na 'gazing at each other' ang peg.  Though matured love is what we share, innate na sa amin dalawa ang pagiging cheesy kahit wala pa naman kami pambili ng factory na gumagawa ng cheese..siguro pag nag Initial Public Offering (IPO) na ang mga cheese factory sa stock market, pwede na kami bumili ng shares (speculators/investors din kami ni BFD sa stock market kahit noon hindi pa kami magkakilala). 



From http://madamefromageblog.com

Wala pang alas nwebe ng umaga ay nasa Parish Office na kami.  Halos 1.5 hours din kami nag-drive mula bahay hanggang simbahan. Ganito nga talaga siguro, since we are planning a destination wedding. 

BFD:  Weekday ngayon and weekday din ang wedding natin, sabihan natin ang mga guest  to allot at least 1.5 hour-transit time from Manila. 

Napangiti ako. Ganyan talaga sya ka-detalyado sa pagpaplano ng aming altar date.  At bago kami bumaba ng car, pinaalala ulit sa akin ni BFD ang aking jacket.  Lamigin kasi ako.

We're the third couple to register for a Canonical Interview that day.  The Parish conducts interview only once a week. Couples who are engaged to marry are required to undergo a Canonical Interview, which is conducted by the Parish Priest. The Priest, being the representative of Christ, is given the task to assess our readiness to receive the Sacrament of Matrimony (kasal). 

Kasalukuyan kaming nasa eksena na 'gazing at each other' nang tawagin kami ni Sis. Cora para maghanda na sa aming Canonical Interview sa Parish Priest na si Fr. Jeff. 

Step 1.  The Parish Office required us to fill up a form.  Dito pa lang ay may tanong na kagaya nito:
    *  When and where did you meet?  (Hindi lang sa Slam Book for Graders circa 1988 itinatanong yan -- bawal ang sagot na 'SECRET')
    *  How long have you known each other? 
    *  How long have you been dating?
    *  How long have you been engaged?
    *  Why do you want to get married? 

BFD and I compared notes. Para kaming mga teenager na nagkokopyahan ng assignment. At parang classmate ko lang si BFD na pumapasok ng school na walang ballpen...buti na lang may extra ako ballpen. 

Step 2.  Brief review of Catechism - hindi naman kami pinag-recite ni Sis. Cora ng mahahabang prayers.  Sobrang natuwa kami sa kanya dahil inimbitahan nya pa kami ni BFD sa kanilang convent.  She told us that she will include us in her prayers.  Ang sarap ng pakiramdam na madami nagbibigay ng blessing.  =)

Ang mga bilin ni Sis. Cora: 

*  "The family that prays together, stays together."  God is the center of your marriage.  Sa kahit anong test na daraanan, Sya ang una ninyong lalapitan. 

*  We need to teach our children good sense of values - kahit nasa tummy pa lang sila.  Madami ng studies na nagpapakita na madaling turuan ang mga bata, kahit nasa womb pa lang ng nanay. 

*  We didn't choose each other.  God made a plan to bring the two of us together. We are called to a Christian vocation - married life.  We must build a family that will benefit the society. 

Step 3.  Interview with Fr. Jeff - masaya ito!  Unang tinawag si BFD at naiwan ako sa labas ng office...naririnig ko silang nagtatawanan.  Hmmm?  Halos 20 minutes ata ang itinagal ni BFD sa loob ng office. Nang bumukas ang pinto, ako naman ang tinawag ni Fr. Jeff.

Fr. Jeff (nakangiti siya na parang si Cardinal Tagle):  Nakahanda ka na ba para sa buhay may asawa?

Me:  Yes, Father.

Fr. Jeff (na nagpatuloy sa mahinahon na pagtatanong):  Meron ka bang pag-aalinlangan?  Hindi ka ba natatakot?  Meron bang maaaring humadlang sa kasal?

Me:  I used to be so scared about the idea...I mean, marriage itself.  For sometime, I thought I was not cut out for it...but now I can say whole-heartedly that I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with BFD...kung sa ayaw?  Wala naman po na may ayaw...pero yung Tatay ko po, more than a month na umiiyak... (and I smiled, recognizing the warmth of my Tatay's love). Ikakasal nyo po ba kami kahit umiyak ang Tatay ko sa simbahan?

Fr. Jeff (napatawa lang):  Alam mo, nabanggit yan sa akin ni BFD.  Your Father was working overseas half his life. I think he has been trying to make up for the years he was away.

My Father made a great deal of sacrifice for our family.  By God's Grace, everything turned out well...and that my parents are now enjoying their retirement, free of illnesses - both physical and spritual. 

Fr. Jeff (nakangiti pa din sa akin, no judgement):  Ano ang naisipan mo at ikaw ngayon ay magpapakasal?

I like the way the Church handled the interview.  Sila Sis. Cora, the Parish's wedding coordinators, pati si Fr. Jeff - they asked personal questions, but there was no judgement.  Everyone is generous in pronouncing their blessing.  Masarap sa pakiramdam with all the support BFD and I are receiving.

Me (bigla ata ako nagblush): Hehehehe...dati akala ko, okay mag-isa. I reached a point wherein I didn't want to get married at all. 

Fr. Jeff:  Naku, sayang...dapat pala nag-madre ka!

Me:  Hindi po ako tatanggapin sa kumbento...hehehehe...I lived the best single life I could muster.  Lahat ng gusto ko...I pursued my interests.  I traveled.  I ran as if there was no tomorrow...until I found myself thinking about how it is to share my life with someone who is my equal and equally worthy.  I told myself to snap out of it - I didn't want to be emotionally dependent on anyone...but the thought kept coming back...and one day I told God...'ayoko na po mag-isip na kumpleto na ko...sige na nga Lord, gusto ko na ng lifetime partner.' 

Fr. Jeff:  After that realization, what did you do?

Me (feeling how faith has 'saved' me):  I prayed...until one day BFD went with me to the Pink Sisters' Chapel, and I knew from that day that he is The One...hindi po ba kayo magtataka na bakit tila whirlwind? 

Fr. Jeff:  Hindi ko masabi na whirlwind ang kwento nyo ni BFD.  Nakausap ko sya kanina at sya ang tipo ng tao na may direksyon sa buhay.  Madami ka pa malalaman tungkol sa kanya kapag kayo ay magkasama na bilang mag-asawa...maaring mas okay pala sya, maaring medyo may hindi okay sa kanya, or maari din na kung paano mo sya nakilala ngayon, ganyan na talaga sya. Walang perfect. Acceptance. Forgiveness.

With a more reassuring smile, he continued...

Fr. Jeff:  Mataas ang kompyansa ko na kaya nyong dalawa mamuhay nang maayos at magtaguyod ng matibay na pamilya...Let God be the center of your marriage...at wag kakalimutan, open communication, though I can see right now that you can communicate effectively with each other at different levels. 

May ilang bagay pa kami napag-usapan ni Fr. Jeff.  Ilang tanong pa at paalala. 

Lumabas kami ng Simbahan ni BFD nang araw na iyon na bitbit hindi lamang ang Wedding Banns, mas nadagdagan pa ang kompyansa na kaya namin maging maayos lahat...it's not just about the wedding, but more importantly, our readiness and disposition towards sharing a life together bound by love and marriage.  =)


Photo by BFD